You love your kids. They love you. But when it comes to tech support, the relationship gets complicated.
If you’ve ever hesitated before calling your daughter about your phone, apologized before asking your son to explain something “one more time,” or felt like a burden for needing help with technology – this is for you.
The Problem Nobody Talks About
Your kids want to help. You know that. But here’s what happens in reality:
They’re busy. They have jobs, their own kids, deadlines, stress. When you call with a tech question, you’re interrupting something. Maybe they don’t say it, but you can hear it in their voice – that slight impatience, that hurry to get back to what they were doing.
They assume you remember. Last month, they showed you how to attach a photo to a text. But you’ve only done it once since then, and now you can’t remember which button to press. When you ask again, there’s that pause. That “didn’t I already show you this?” energy.
They explain it too fast. To them, it’s obvious. Tap this, swipe that, done in five seconds. But you need to write it down. You need to go slower. By the time you find a pen, they’ve moved on to step three and you’re lost.
You feel like you’re bothering them. So you start apologizing. “I’m sorry to ask again…” or “I know you’re busy, but…” And that feeling – that you’re becoming a burden over something “simple” – it hurts.
Why This Dynamic Doesn’t Work
It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just a bad system.
Your kids learned technology by playing with it. They grew up clicking buttons to see what would happen. They’re comfortable making mistakes because they’ve been doing it since they were twelve.
You learned technology because you had to. Your phone came with instructions that assumed you already knew what half the words meant. Technology moved fast, and nobody stopped to bring you along. Now you’re playing catch-up, and it’s stressful.
Teaching and learning tech don’t match up well when:
- The teacher is rushed
- The student feels embarrassed
- Nobody has time to practice
- The problem only happens once every few weeks, so you forget the steps in between
The Real Cost
Here’s what asking your kids for tech help actually costs:
It costs you independence. Every time you need help with something “simple,” you feel a little less capable. A little more dependent. You’re a smart, competent person – but needing your daughter to show you how to mute a Zoom call makes you feel… old.
It costs you spontaneity. You want to text your granddaughter a photo, but you can’t remember how to attach it. So you wait until someone can help you. Or you just don’t send it. Little moments slip away because the technology gets in the way.
It costs you confidence. When your phone does something unexpected, your first thought isn’t “I’ll figure this out.” It’s “I’ll have to call someone.” That’s exhausting.
And yes, it changes the relationship. You raised your kids. You taught them everything they know. Now the roles have reversed, and it doesn’t feel good for either of you.
What You Actually Need
You don’t need someone to do it for you.
You need someone who:
- Explains things step by step, at your pace
- Doesn’t mind if you ask the same question twice (or five times)
- Is available when YOU need help, not when it’s convenient for them
- Never makes you feel rushed, stupid, or like a burden
- Can walk you through it while you’re actually looking at the screen
You need patient, judgment-free guidance that treats you like the capable adult you are.
A Better Way
Imagine this instead:
You’re trying to video call your granddaughter, but the screen keeps freezing. Instead of calling your son (who’s at work), you open Tessa on your phone.
You type: “My FaceTime keeps freezing.”
Tessa responds immediately: “I can help with that. Let’s figure this out together. First, are you connected to WiFi or using cellular data?”
You answer. She asks a follow-up question. She walks you through checking your connection, closing other apps, restarting FaceTime.
Five minutes later, you’re talking to your granddaughter. You figured it out yourself. Nobody was interrupted. Nobody was frustrated. You feel… capable.
That’s what Tech with Tessa does.
Why This Works Better
It’s available 24/7. Need help at 10pm on a Sunday? Tessa’s there. No guilt, no apologies.
It goes at your pace. Take five minutes or take an hour. Stop in the middle and come back later. Ask the same question tomorrow if you need to. There’s no judgment.
It’s private. Nobody else knows what you’re asking. There’s no “you should know this already” feeling.
It builds your confidence. Every time you solve something yourself – even with guidance – you feel a little more capable. A little more independent.
It preserves your relationship with your kids. They’re not your tech support anymore. They’re your kids. You can call them to talk, not because your email broke.
Your Kids Want This Too
Here’s the thing: your kids don’t want to be your help desk either.
They want to help when you really need it – when something’s important or urgent. But the daily “how do I…” questions? Those wear everyone out.
When you have access to patient, on-demand tech help, everyone wins:
- You get help without feeling like a burden
- Your kids get their time back
- Your conversations can be about things that matter, not troubleshooting WiFi
It’s not about replacing your relationship. It’s about protecting it.
You’re Not Asking for Too Much
Wanting patient help with technology isn’t asking too much.
Wanting to feel capable and independent isn’t asking too much.
Wanting to learn at your own pace, without pressure or judgment, isn’t asking too much.
You deserve help that meets you where you are.
Tech with Tessa is patient, step-by-step guidance for everyday technology – phones, computers, email, WiFi, and all the frustrating moments in between.
No rush. No judgment. Just clear help, whenever you need it.
Try Tessa free for 7 days. Ask as many questions as you want. See what it feels like to solve tech problems on your own terms.
Tessa is part of the Smart Buddy Network, which also offers guidance for healthcare and relationships. Learn more